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Like her past, and how she'd never talked about it. We'd been friendsand roommates for all this time and I didn't really know anything abouther background, she never talked about it. She was twenty-three, bornand raised in LA, and didn't talk to any of her family. That was it, allI knew. I'd learned more from John's report than I had from her. Shejust never talked about her past, changed the subject if you askedanything. I'd never really thought about it that much, she was hardlythe only kid in school who didn't talk about their background, I guessI'd just figured she'd had her reasons. Boy, did she ever. Before it'dseemed innocent enough, now it seemed... Sinister, somehow.How in the hell could I have not known?I kept going back to that question even though it seemed obvious I hadthe answer. Sure there were plenty of clues in retrospect, hindsight is20/20 and all that. But I didn't know squat about transsexualism,probably like most people, and didn't really care to know anymore than. Only his lasted mere breaths, and was over with the seasons. I learned about Rachel, his high-school girlfriend. Oh, how I grew to hate her. I never met this Rachel, but I knew if I did, I would not be able to contain my rage. I would fucking hammer her into the ground with my words alone. Rachel had used him, manipulated him and abused him. She had used his love as a tool to control him. And had simply discarded him when he was no longer useful. I had known women like this before, they were an insult to all women. There was more to his story, and it invoked in me such an emptiness and sadness, that I could not help but pull him in and hug him. He cried, and tears burned down my cheeks as well. My heart ached for Jesse. I could feel the damage in him, I knew that damage by name. My father had healed me and shown me love. He had held me, made love to me, made me whole. This poor boy, had none of that. He had nothing and no one. I held him, and fell into me. His suicide.
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